Saying "yes" to one thing means saying "no" or "not right now" to something else. And whatever choice we make often leads to a feeling of guilt about the thing we said "no" to.
With so many people and things vying for our attention, no wonder we seek work-life balance. As an achiever, the options for how to fill your time are plentiful. Time is like a bank account that feels like it's always in the red.
Everything. Anything. Pick your poison.
Our home life...
Our health and vitality...
Which translates to "I'm never good enough."
If that hits close to home for many achievers it's because they're constantly focused on where they came up short. Even though they've set impossible standards for themselves.
Have you ever defined what a "successful" day looks like? I mean listed out EVERYTHING you expect from yourself in a day? And then stopped to ask yourself if that list is even remotely realistic?
For most of us...the answer is a resounding NO. It's not possible to do ALL of it EVERY DAY.
Assuming you get ahold of your schedule (get clear on your outcomes, prioritize tasks that will get you there effectively and efficiently, and stick to your schedule) how do you kick the guilt to the curb? Because there will inevitably be tasks that get squeezed out. There will always be something or someone you had to say no to in order to get the priority tasks done.
It's still possible to feel you let someone down - even when you know, logically, you're up against an impossible standard and you've made a super-hero's attempt.
What we're really talking about is not giving them the answer/response/outcome they were hoping for or that you thinkthey were hoping for. And the emotion you think they'll experience as a result.
"If I don't say/do x then they'll feel _____."
The truth is you can't control other people's expectations nor how they feel. You can, at best, influence their emotions with the emotions you bestow upon them.
How do you want them to feel? Loved? Appreciated? Supported?
Decide which emotions you want to share with them and formalize your intent with a declaration.
Just because someone else expects something of you, it doesn't mean you have to say "yes" and agree to it. There are consequences either way. Which ones do you want to adopt?
YOU get to decide how you want to show up in each and every relationship - personal or professional. YOU get to decide which expectations you'll meet or pass on. YOU are in charge of the emotions you feel and portray.
When you make that connection and live and make decisions/choices in a way that are in alignment with who you most want to be, then you can let go of the guilt.
Today is the day to #GoForIt and #Live Deliberately.
Founder, Personal Evolution Co.
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