You Can't Influence People If You're Judging Them


Have you ever set a goal to become a better leader?

One of the biggest and most important attributes of leadership is influence.

However, you can't influence people if you're judging them. Believe me when I say they can feel it if you do. They will hear it in your voice, see it in your facial expressions and feel it in the way you come across. They know.

A key to becoming a great leader is to stop judging. Instead - get curious. Take alook at the person.

If you want to influence someone, you must first know what influences them.

Ask them questions. What motivates him/her? What drives him/her? What's important to hin/her? What are their beliefs and values?

The only way to know is to spend some time with them and find out.

Once you know what influences them, then you can lead them because you can speak from their frame of reference. You can speak about things that are alreay important to them.

That's how leaders develop influence.

Have you seen my free training "5 Shifts to Advance Your...

Continue Reading...

Change: The Problem Isn't "Out There"

be proactive change Jul 09, 2018

Have you ever had a result you wanted to create in your life and you thought "If only this person would do this..." or "If only this person would not do that...then I could create this result?"

As soon as we think the problem is "out there" THAT is the problem!

In his classic best seller "7 Habits of Highly Effective People," Stephen Covey tells us in the very first habit to "Be Proactive."

In a nutshell this means you are responsible for the results you get in life.

We get results based on decisions we've made and the actions we've taken.

This is great news!

If you are are also response - able.

You can change the decisions you make or actions you take at any time, which will create a different result. If you still don't have the result you want, keep changing your decisions and actions until you do get the desired result.

The key is to look within yourself.

Ask yourself great questions like "What can I do to move this project forward?" "What can I...

Continue Reading...

The Power of Chunking

chunking overwhelm Jul 02, 2018

Have you ever come up with an idea that just keeps floating around in your head? And you fail to take action on it?

You're not alone.

Often, when clients have a plan, they attack the plan. For some - the problem is creating the plan. This is especially true if the result or outcome they seek feels big or overwhelming.

As a coach, I look for patterns. If a pattern doesn't serve the client, we work to break it.

One such pattern is writing on their "to-do list"  big outcomes that require multiple steps. 

Break down big goals or projects into small, manageable steps and then schedule blocks of time to work on those steps. 

What gets scheduled gets done.

What goes on your priority list for the day should be individual, actionable steps. That leads to progress. Progress leads to momentum. The more momentum you have, the more likely you are to complete the project.

What projects are you working on that feel big or overwhelming to you? How can I support you?

Have you...

Continue Reading...

Three Things Leaders MUST Do

leaders leadership Jun 25, 2018

So often clients say one of their goals is to be a better leader. I say "Great! How will you know when you're a better leader?" That is often met with either silence or a comment like "Hmmm. That's a great question."

What do leaders do, anyway? What does it mean to be a leader?

There are three things a leader MUST do.

  1. Get in touch with the facts. See things as they are. Keep emotion out of it at this stage. Don't over-dramatize things or put on a set of rosy glasses. Be real about the state of the union.
  2. Have a vision for the future. See things better than they are. What could be or should be for the future? 
  3. Make it happen. Make your vision come to life. Take consistent action. Get resourceful. Don't take "no" for an answer.

You can be a leader anywhere in your life: at work, at home, in your church or community. 

What's one way you could apply these leadership "musts" this week?

Have you signed up for the free training on Advancing Your Executive Presence?...

Continue Reading...

Three Letter Words


Which three-letter words?

How, why and who.

So often we ask "how" questions. It starts at a very young age. "How do I spell this word?" "How do I brush my teeth?" "How do I tie my shoe?"

"How" questions are strategy questions. And strategies are a dime a dozen. You can find the answer to any question, 24/7, without even leaving your couch thanks to the power of the internet. 

Success in business, and in life, is 80% mindset (psychology) and 20% strategy.

If you want to achieve goals, aim for getting in the right mindset. "How?" you may ask? (Do you see the irony in asking "how?") By asking "why?" and "who?"

Ask WHY it's important for you to achieve something. Get associated with how it will feel and what it would mean to you. When you are emotionally attached to an outcome you are much more likely to achieve it.

Next, ask WHO you need to become in order to achieve it. This deepens the emotional attachment. What needs to shift in how you see yourself? What needs to shift...

Continue Reading...

Words have meaning


Words have meaning. The words we use matter. Small shifts in language have a positive impact in your day. My most successful clients master their emotions...and language is one of the tools they use to do it.

What do you catch yourself saying all the time that could benefit from a small shift in your vocabulary?

Have you signed up for the free training on Advancing Your Executive Presence? Click here for more info. 

Continue Reading...

Fear is Like Whack-A-Mole

Uncategorized Jun 05, 2018

What stops us from moving forward? From taking action? From being our best selves?

One word: FEAR.

Fear can look many different ways. It can look like fear of failure, a fear of success, fear of losing something (money, love, respect), or even fear of the unknown!

Fear is like a game of Whack-A-Mole. Deal with it one thing at a time. 

You don't have to conquer all fear at once. That's not going to happen so pressure off! 

Fear isn't an's a WHEN??

We don't know when, how, where or how fast it will come. We do know it will come.

When it comes up...whack it on the head. 

Take one little action or one big action.

One day, one step at a time...that is how you conquer fear.

Have you signed up for the free training on Advancing Your Executive Presence? Click here for more info. 

Continue Reading...

Does Acting Confident Feel Phony to you?

confidence Jun 05, 2018

How many times have we heard the phrase "Fake it until you make it?"

The problem with that is no one wants to feel like a fake. No one was to be or feel phony.

"Faking it" implies you're trying to be someone you're not. For you to reach your goals you can't pretend to be that successful must become that person.

Become that person by making an inward decision to be him or her. The outward signs will show up later, as a result of making this decision.

"Overnight successes" are rarely that. They are the outward signs that a person made a decision a some prior point in his/her life to become that person, and then put in the work and the time.

You have the same power to make that decision right now.

In this video, learn how to project what you need to project so you can reach your goals, without feeling like a fake.

 Have you seen my free training on Advancing Your Executive Presence? Click here for more info. 

Continue Reading...