Whether it's a co-worker, friend, or family member you know he/she "just gets me." It's like they know what you're thinking.
We like people who are similar to us, who have a style similar to our own. This is especially true regarding our communication styles.
We gravitate toward people who think like us, like the same pace we do and have similar priorities. We seem to be "on the same page" with some people more so than others.
What are the chances that everyone you work with have style just like your own? Slim to none!
At work, effective communication is important with everyone involved - ALL stakeholders.
That's how things really get done. It's how we achieve our objectives and have fun doing it, all while bringing stress and tension levels down.
When communication breaks down, tension and stress rise.
The biggest secret for effective communication: Enter their world.
If you really want to improve relationships and communicate effectively you must do so in the style THEY prefer, not your preferred style.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that most people think like you do. Some will but most won't.
If you want to be the leader step up and be willing to enter into their world - their style of communicating. Don't expect everyone to come around to your way of thinking. Don't expect everyone else to behave the same way you do using the same patterns as you. That's not realistic.
Clients will sometimes state their outcome for a session is to get so-and-so to feel this way or to get someone to stop doing some behavior. I then point out I'm not coaching so-and-so - I'm coaching you!
You can't control other people's actions or their personality style. You can't MAKE them feel a certain way. What you CAN do is change how you react to that behavior.
Effective communication works very much the same way. If you want to step up and improve communication then you have to be willing to change the way you do some things.
Over the coming weeks we'll be taking a look at four distinct personality types. Each has strengths and soft spots. For each type I'll give two types of tips.
1. If this is you...tips. Do these characteristics describe your predominant behavior? Does this sound like you or how your co-workers would describe you? If so, you'll get tips on how to see around corners and smooth out any potential rough edges you may have and improve your communication with others.
2. "I work with someone like that"...tips. DO the characteristics I'm describing remind you of someone you work with? Usually it's someone of a different personality type that give us the biggest challenges in communication. I'll teach you some ways you can modify your behavior to adapt to them in your effort to communicate better.
Consider this Communication Profiler School
If you like scenes from Criminal Minds when the BAU team addresses local law enforcement officers and gives them insights into how the unsub's mind works, then you'll love this series: Secrets of Effective Communicators.
You'll learn how to identify each communication profile and step into their world. You'll get into their head, know what they're thinking and be able to adjust your style to better match theirs. They'll think "She just gets me. "We've been on the same page lately."
What an invaluable tool!
Remember: Stop asking other people to bend to your style. Be willing to step up and adapt to theirs.
To learn more about your distinct behavioral style and what motivates you, consider our DISC & Motivators profile package. If includes two powerful assessments, a one-hour debrief and a 30 minute follow-up 30 days later.
Click HERE for more information.