You want to #GoForIt, whatever IT is for you.
Get a new job.
Start a business.
Write a book.
Start a side gig.
Move across the country.
Travel somewhere new on extended stay.
Go back to school.
Take a new exercise class.
Ask for a promotion and the corner office.
You share your (newfound?) desires out of excitement, hoping to see the enthusiasm mirrored back, so you know you have support.
Then...boom. The smackdown occurs.
You don't get the reaction you were hoping for. And the dream is stifled.
It gets choked back because someone else, perhaps someone important to you, doesn't approve or think it's a good idea. Or because it's a departure from where he or she thought you were headed, or the direction they wanted you to head.
They have other EXPECTATIONS of you. And your announcement might not fit their plan.
"THEY" can come from our inner circle of loved ones, from a boss or colleague, a teacher, or from society at large.
I assume they mean well but their interference pulls you away from who and what you want to be.
It can cause you to doubt that YOU know best for you.
There’s a twinge of perhaps she knows best present. Does he know something I don’t? Is she smarter, wiser?
So you strive to meet this other person's expectations of you.
It may sound crazy to you but a lot of people spend their lives trying their darnedest to live up to other people's expectations in an effort to "belong" or feel loved and accepted.
It may feel strangely comforting, at least for a time, knowing you’re following someone else’s roadmap for your life. Like it absolves you from responsibility or something. But it doesn’t work that way.
Whether you like it or not, the choice is yours how you spend it. “But he/she/they told me to” will not get you a do-over at life. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Nor will it get you the deep level of satisfaction and fulfillment you seek. Ultimately, that comes from truly being happy and making an impact by contributing something back to others.
Of course you want to belong. We all do. Ironically, when you strive to be who others want you to be, you end up with LESS of a sense of belonging. Wait. What?
You may never “please” them or meet their expectations, much less exceed them. No matter how hard you try. Hence, losing the sense of belonging you desired altogether. What good does it do to belong to a group that isn’t your true tribe anyway? You never “belonged” there in the first place.
Furthermore, in the meantime you alienate your would-be super fans that were waiting for you, needing your special gifts you have to offer. Your true tribe needs you to shine so they can find you.
All you have to do right now is lay down your doubt about what you know to be right for you. Accept that YOU know best what’s right for you and are guided by your own voice. Listen to your voice. TRUST it.
Today is the day to #GoForIt and #Live Deliberately.
Founder, Personal Evolution Co.
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